Typical requests and how to refuse and say no them :

Here are some of the few daily life examples of how you can refuse requests effectively :

• When someone starts talking about a problem that you could potentially help them with but you don't have time to handle and is not your responsibility: "Wow. I can really understand how that would be hard. (Then     say nothing more—just nod, smile, and release the problem when you walk away.)      
• When someone asks you to do something that your much-less-busy coworker could do: "I would love to help you out, but given my schedule, I wouldn't be able to get this back to you for a couple of weeks. If you would like to have this turned around sooner, I recommend that you reach out to __________. Does that sound good?

• When you're given an exceptionally short deadline:" I know this project is a high priority for you, and if it's absolutely necessary for me to turn something in by that date, I can make it happen. But if I could have a few more _________ (days, weeks, etc.), I could really deliver something of higher quality. Would it be possible for me to have a bit more time?

These are some the ways that a person can refuse without directly saying no of the face of the other person and also setting boundaries that not all of the requests can be accepted.

*Elizabeth Grace Saunders . Retrieved from http://99u.com/tips/7076/Setting-Boundaries-Saying-No-Nicely

It surely feels good to be in that situation where everybody comes up to you and say that "can you please do this work i couldn't get it done and you cant resist but to say yes .The feeling of being appreciated and called that "I just don't know what I would do without you" is surely makes you feel the importance of yourself .
A good guy syndrome is what it is called .
But the problem with this is your own important work and time for yourself is gone ,you end being more stressful then you ever will e if you would have just said no that time .

Saying yes is not a bad thing we should always up for helping people if they need us but it should not be at the cost of our own work and energy .*One more side effect of "cant say no" is people are less likely to take no from you and a result they develop the habit of always hearing yes from you and the moment you say no they are more likely to get offended then not and this can sour up the relationships between you and the requester. 

Why saying 'no' is helpful :
Mostly we don't realize it but saying can be very helpful to us or to our work .We take up some tasks in life that we don't have means r energy to do it but still we take them why? because we couldn't say no that time. Its very important to say no to save our time also and limit others expectations also .

• Every time we cannot deliver to the expectations so we should stop creating these situations .
• Our own work will be affected .
• stress 
• lack of focus.
• delay in work.
• it can also effect our relations with the other person.
• limit the expectations of others.

Never say "yes" when you cannot deliver it :
Sometimes its hard to say no and many times we find ourselves in the situation when we think that we should have said no in the first place ,its also can be termed as "good guy syndrome",where we take up more then we can chew, just trying to be a nice guy .
Saying no is important to some task ,it doesn't mean that you have to be rude or feel guilty about it. 

Sometimes in life you have to not be apologetic but still have to refuse some requests without being blunt and inappropriate to the person requesting it . In those events one must choose his words very carefully ,you have to be kind and able to connect with that person ,also make the person feel that you completely understands the situation of the person . Many times in some cultures or parts of the world saying sorry directly or at the very beginning considered to be very rude. In these situations you to be work your way around to first feel the emotions the other person feeling and make them feel in what spot the other person is and then after this buffer you say sorry or it may no longer be needed.

Saying sorry in the very first sentence is like rejecting the person rudely on the face it doesn't help in maintaining the future relations with the requester in the same way as they were before .

How to work your way around -just tell or explain your situation that how you really want to attend the particular function and how you because of some extremely important work  cant attend it and how much you regret it .These all things helps saying no easier with out hurting the feelings of the other person and also the relations with them.

Tips to refuse the invitation politely:

Many time we receive an invitation that’s not exactly to the party of the year in your mind? We've all been there! We Don't have to feel obligated to attend an event just because you have been invited. The Invitation can be declined  while remaining in the host's good graces. Here’s how to politely decline an invite:

• Timely Response. Don't keep the guest waiting and wondering that you gonna attend the party ,a timely response would be great way to tell the guest in advance that you wont be able to attend
• Don't take the easy way out. Not responding to the invite and making up an excuse later on will not be well received.
• Thanking the host for the invite. Express how flattering it is to be included in the celebration.
• Schedule another time in the near future to catch up with the host in person if he/she is a close friend or relative.
•  Simple and short responses. Tell the host you are sorry you will not be able to make it this time, but hope they enjoy the party.
• Ask the host how did the event go. Everybody would like to talk about their great party.

  Anna Orlando, Krystle, AcidRain, Whoze and 1 other (2009).How to politely decline the request.            Retrieved from http://www.wikihow.com/Politely-Decline-an-Invitation

 how to refuse the invitation "politely":

Declining Invitations :

Many times we get invitation to speak or to attend a program lets say marriage function or birthday parties or any other event .In declining these requests we should be extra careful as normally responses to these requests are often taken personally so extra effort should be given to make the refusal soft and to provide the response which says more then just saying "i can't or i don't want to". 

In these responses we are basically trying to approach the host or the hostess of the party or any event and rather than  saying direct no on the face we should appreciate the fact that the sender invited us and  we should give the reasons why we cannot attend this event unless the reasons are confidential and business secrets . 

:for example 

"I appreciate your gracious invitation to your son's graduation party.   Unfortunately, I already have an engagement that afternoon and will be unable to attend. Please let John know how proud I am of him for his achievement.

May you enjoy a wonderful celebration." 

In the above lines the reason for not attending the party and also the appreciation is shown by the receiver of the party so that that refusal becomes more soft and this will not affect the relation between the host and the receiver.

Refusing internal request :

Sometimes as managers of a company must refuse request from

from outside as well as inside the business corporations also like from employees and other co-managers. 

It  happens occasionally but have to be dealt with proper care and diligence by the managers as the blunt denial can harm the sentiments as well as the motivation of workers to work hard for the company. for eg; a key co-manager in the company wants to go for the important conference ,however he cannot attend it as the timing is bad because he has to address the fiscal deposit scheme to the important shareholders of the company on those dates.So the director ,Vice president or Sen. manager wants to refuse to the above said request stating the reasons behind it. But first they have to to make a memo and it starts with a buffer that delivers honest praise of the employee " we are pleased with your past work and how u shown your leadership skills in achieving the desired goals".Then the in the second paragraph the dates will be mentioned as on these date you are required  here . By this time the reader will understood that the request is being refused but the writer have to focus on the positive elements of the requester like ; you the specialist and your presence will be required and also the your special skills are needed to present the whole scheme to the shareholders of the company.It also ends positively with gratitude for mark's contribution to the organisation and other compliments like "You are a valuable team leader".

All in all the whole memo will focuses on explanation and praise rather then on refusals and apologies.The success of this message depends on how the whole thing is scripted and the writing process of the entire message not the buffer only and few compliments thrown here and there.

Refusing typical requests :

Every once in while whether we are in a business environment or not we are presented with a request which we want to refuse.It depends on how your receiver will react to your refusal you select your refusal pattern ;these are Direct and Indirect patterns.

Rejecting requests for favours,money,information and action ;- while all of us like to let down the refusal gently that is why reasons-before-refusal pattern works well when you turning down the requests of  money ,favours, information etc.

Saying NO to requests from outsiders: Every big firm or business entity comes up with requests of contributions to charity often so how this requests can be turned down? many times reasons r inadequate funds and company policies. Following the Indirect method will be ideal in these situations. First the letter will be acknowledging the facts of request and also praising the good work the charity is doing and then in the second paragraph the writer explains the reasons that why our company cannot donate.So in this method the writer actually reveals the refusal without stating it .This process will make the refusal more gentle and not necessary makes it blunt in stating the denial.
for example :

To,

Mr. Mike Peterson
Manager
Organization of Social service
45-road
Russia

Dear Mr. Peterson:

I received your letter request a donation to your organization two days ago. I was really impressed with the good work that you are doing to serve the people. I commend you for your work, but I am currently unable to donate to your cause for financial reasons.

I regret to inform you that I’m not able to help you this time, but I will keep your organization in mind should I be in a better position financially in the future. I hope that your work and success will continue.

Best Wishes,

Adam Stuards

http://www.letters.org/donation-letter/decline-request-for-donation.html

In the above letter example the writer clearly acknowledges the work that is done by the a charity organisation but also states that due to the financial position of the company he cannot donate anything for now but also promises to do whatever he can in future when his financial condition will be stable .So this will not be blunt refusal and it also clarifies the reason and yet also wishes the organisation good luck for the things they are doing.